


Counting the Cost

by Redbyrd



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode: s09e06 Beachhead, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-01
Updated: 2005-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28663323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redbyrd/pseuds/Redbyrd
Summary: Another day, another loss. After all this time, Daniel would have thought he'd be used to it.
Kudos: 2





	Counting the Cost

DISCLAIMER:  
The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.  
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Daniel struggled to keep his eyes from closing again. He'd already slept most of the three hours it had taken them to get back to P4C-452 and it wasn't even dinnertime yet. He'd be damned if he was going to doze the rest of the day. Besides, if he let them carry him back through the gate on a stretcher, his chances of getting out of the infirmary tonight would be just about nil. He peeled the electrodes for the heart monitor off his chest and sat up.

"Doctor, why don't you just lie back and get some sleep?" the corpsman assigned to Prometheus gave him an anxious look.

He reached for his uniform jacket and pulled it on over the infirmary top they'd given him when they hooked him to the machine. "I've been asleep for hours," Daniel said, not quite able to keep the peevishness out of his tone. "Enough is enough."

The young man nodded, visibly respectful, and Daniel couldn't help the sheepish thought that having a reputation had its uses. "DanielJackson," a calm voice said.

"Teal'c," Daniel wondered, not for the first time, how Teal'c managed to stay so completely still he was nearly invisible, and yet could speak without startling him. "I didn't know you were still there."

Teal'c gave him the faint smile that seemed to come much more easily to him these days. It was good to see. "Perhaps you should listen to Airman Michaels."

Daniel swung his legs off the bed in definitive answer. "I'm fine, Teal'c. What did they do with my boots?"

The Jaffa passed him the boots silently. "Daniel-" Sam came in as he pulled the laces tight. "Shouldn't you be lying down?"

"No," Daniel said. "We must be almost to the gate."

"Yes, but-" Sam still looked anxious. "The effect of those bracelets-"

 _'Wasn't serious enough for you to come and check it out before-'_ Daniel choked back the waspish answer, but couldn't stop his thoughts from tracing the chain of cause and effect. If they'd found a way to nullify the effects of the bracelets sooner, Vala wouldn't have been on this mission. Of course then the Ori might have completed their supergate and launched the invasion-

Daniel wasn't sure what made him feel most guilty- that he hadn't thought of Vala's solution himself, that he'd taken out his irritation in rudely rebuffing her attempt to contribute, or that a small corner of his brain was glad it was her on that ship and not Teal'c or Sam. He was acutely conscious of just how few people they had who **could** pilot a Goa'uld cargo ship, even if they had listened to Vala earlier.

"Daniel?" Sam's hand was on his arm and he realized he hadn't answered her.

"I'm fine, Sam. Just a little tired. Don't worry about it." Daniel said shortly.

"Everyone ready to disembark?" Mitchell said cheerfully. "Jackson, you up to walking?"

Daniel stood up, locking his knees to stop them swaying and gritted his teeth against the gray mist that fogged the edges of his vision. He was conscious of Teal'c reaching out to grasp his shoulder as he tried to look like he didn't need the support. "Sure," he said.

"Right." Mitchell looked a little dubious, but the head rush was clearing and Teal'c let his steadying hand fall as Daniel took two steps toward the door.

They ringed down to the planet in silence, landing in front of the gate. This was a nearly dead world. The hot sun had burned away all but the hardiest forms of life and the air was thin and low in oxygen. Sam had speculated that the sun had flared a few thousand years ago, all but sterilizing the planet. Daniel wondered, as he occasionally had, what Vorash looked like these days. Of course it didn't have a gate anymore, so there was no easy way to check even if anyone cared.

Mitchell walked over to punch the Earth glyphs on the DHD, something he usually did with a sort of suppressed glee, as if he could still hardly believe he was here. Today he was a little more sombre. Daniel knew it wasn't the first time he'd lost a team member- several of his wingmates had been shot down in the battle against Anubis- but Vala wasn't military. He probably felt responsible.

Mitchell turned back to them. "Well- onward to Earth. This debriefing should be interesting. Not only the first person to use a Mark 9, but the first to screw it up."

Daniel felt a surge of raw anger. They'd lost Vala, and Mitchell was worrying about his record? "If you're looking for sympathy, Mitchell," he said harshly, "you're talking to the wrong group of people." He met Sam and Teal'c's eyes with the shared understanding of eight years of hard choices in the field. Without waiting for Mitchell, he stalked through the gate.

Sam, Teal'c and Mitchell were only a couple of seconds behind him as he ignored the gurney waiting at the foot of the ramp and walked out of the gate room toward the infirmary.

"-was that supposed to mean?" Mitchell asked behind him.

Sam replied, "Well, Cam, SG-1 did blow up a sun." They sure had... That explosion had made the Mark 9 look like a bottle rocket.

They caught up with him at the elevator as Mitchell said. "The system was uninhabited though, wasn't it?"

"As far as we know," Daniel put in curtly. "We didn't exactly do a comprehensive survey."

Mitchell appeared a little shocked and turned back to Sam, who shrugged and looked uncomfortable.

"And that was after Jack and I became the first people to use a nuclear bomb on human beings since World War Two," Daniel added in a chilly academic tone. Talk about distinctions it would have been nicer not to have. Not to mention starting..how many wars? The Abydos rebellion, the war with the Goa'uld, the Unas rebellion they'd helped Chaka launch and the civil war on Avidan, that he could think of off the top of his head.

Mitchell was clearly trying to sort out what he was referring to. "Not the first mission to Abydos? I thought you and General O'Neill used the bomb on Ra."

"Collateral damage," Daniel said tersely, and watched the dawning comprehension on Mitchell's face. The dark eyes of the children who had been Ra's body servants still came back to him in dreams, even now. "Welcome to SG-1, Mitchell."

The elevator had already stopped without them noticing. Daniel and Teal'c fell into step as they walked the familiar corridor to the infirmary, Mitchell and Carter following well behind. "Were you not a little hard on him?" Teal'c asked.

"If the stakes are too high, he needs to figure that out now, while he can still walk away from the table," Daniel said. It was a long time since that had been an option for him or Teal'c, if it ever had. Okay, he had been a little hard on Mitchell. He was having trouble keeping his eyes open, and somehow, he didn't think Lam was going to let him self-medicate with caffeine.

"You are angry because we did not listen to Vala," Teal'c said.

"No, Teal'c. I'm angry because _**I**_ didn't listen to Vala," Daniel took a deep breath. "God knows she drove me crazy, but I never wanted her dead."

"Colonel Carter thinks she may still be alive," Teal'c said.

Daniel managed a weak smile. "If she is, maybe we should put her on SG-1. Two deaths should qualify anyone."

"Indeed." Teal'c's familiar observation was comforting and Daniel knew he understood all the things Daniel hadn't said. He relaxed fractionally, and wondered if Mitchell would ever have a place in their easy rapport. He liked Cam well enough, but it felt decidedly weird seeing him standing in Jack's place. He wondered for the first time if this was how his friends had felt, that year with Jonas.

"Dr. Jackson, this way," the nurse instructed, indicating the exam area.

Daniel sighed and followed him, Teal'c staying at his side. "If anyone had told me at the beginning of all this how much infirmary time this job was going to involve-" he complained. Injuries, watching friends in pain, Vala driving him nuts-

And saving Jack from himself; saving Teal'c from Apophis; saving the planet and occasionally the galaxy from the Goa'uld, the mimic aliens, the NID, the Replicators, the Aschen, the Goa'uld and the Replicators some more, the Ori, thanks to Vala-well, they were still working on saving anything from the Ori...

The nurse turned away to get Dr. Lam.

Teal'c raised an interrogative eyebrow, and Daniel felt again the mixed shame and gratitude that Vala was the one missing and not his friend. _'If she's still alive out there, we'll find her,'_ he promised himself silently. He gave Teal'c a wry smile.

"If I'd known what this would all lead to, I might want to change some things," Daniel said. "But I wouldn't have missed it for the world."


End file.
